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The Tallest Hair in Town ©

Did you know this girl?

Thomas Matthew Edgar
Melbourne, Australia

In 1956, or so, or round about that time
A girl who worked in Glasgow
She was very good at mime
Resembling Connie Francis
Except for Connie’s hair
She took some drastic measures
To give her extra flair.

She bought the usual products to shape and tease her mane
Into something close to Connie’s
Allow me to explain….
She teased and tortured sprayed and waxed
The beehive look she sought
It would not stay in place though
No matter what she bought!

She decided then to make her own,
her own concoction new.
With sugar, honey, glue and soap..
a drop of grannie's stew
The towering beehive then took shape
And stayed where it was put.
"Success at last!" she then exclaimed!
She’d grown at least a foot.

Her happiness was short lived though
As I will now reveal
To keep the hive she never washed
Nor combed nor brushed …I feel,
This was the start of her demise
her end was now in sight
Her skull went first and then her brain
to a voracious carnivorous mite.

To look like Connie Francis she’d sacrificed her brain
Though she hadn’t much to start with
She’d do the same again
An urban myth I hear you say,
still it’s strange what pride will do
More myth than hit I will agree
I think it was the stew..

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