The Kipper Song ©

There's little I don't know about the kipper,
Because I used to keep one as a pet;
I would take him for long walks,
We'd have such interesting talks,
And once a week I'd drive him to the vet.
You know where you are with a kipper,
They're full of fun, intelligent, and bright;
They are loyal and courageous -
Not the slightest bit outrageous -
And I've never known one yet get in a fight.

Harry! Oh, Harry!
My faithful, devoted kipper friend;
Harry! Oh, Harry!
Why did I have to lose you in the end?

What fate decreed that we had to be parted?
What made you take your life? I cannot tell;
For my senses they were reeling
As I scraped you off the ceiling,
Off the walls, and off the furniture as well.
I buried you that evening in the garden
With a shovel, which I took down from a shelf;
And your flounder friend, Isolde -
She went barmy when I told her -
For she jumped into the river, drowned herself.

Harry! Oh, Harry!
My faithful, devoted kipper friend;
Harry! Oh, Harry!
Why did I have to lose you in the end?