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The Foreign Ladies Dream ©

Jonn Bearcat-Redmond
Fife, Scotland

I want to go to Scotland and find myself a Highland man
With hairy legs and beardy face, green eyes and latin tan
I want to go to Scotland I've been practising the dances
I can get my legs up to my chest - that should improve my chances
I can shout 'Ochaye' and do a Highland fling, a jig and eightsome reel
And if I cannot get more than a one night stand I will settle for just a feel
I want to go to Scotland right to the northern bits
I know I'll freeze my bum off and probably my t--s
I want to go to Scotland, see Bearcat I think that he is great
And if half the men are just like him I am sure I will find a mate
And if he turns out boring, and has no sense of fun
I'll just pop down to England, I'm sure that's where Stewpot's from
I want to go to the North of Scotland and roll among the heather
With Pictilad, Tam or Jim or, whoever
I want to meet the real men the ones who play the pipes
Who can sing a song or two and keep me up all night!
But I really want to go to Scotland to find my true soul mate
I was told most have emigrated to Canada so I'm probably too late
I'd love to marry a Scotsman and live inside a castle
But when I think about those early rises it's probably not worth the hassle
I want to go to Scotland I will go in the next few years
I will need to work lots of overtime to pay for the cost of cigarettes and beer
Do you think I should go to Germany, Italy, or even France
And save myself a fortune and have a romantic dance?

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