Oh, The Pain! ©

My hovercraft is full of eels,
My en-suite bathroom's full of seals,
A gull above me dives and wheels;
Swipe me, life's a bore.
No succour in the morning post,
No ermine robes of which to boast,
And now I've burned the blasted toast!
What do we do it for?
At some outlandish hour, bed
Waves fare-thee-well, while in your head
You ponder what's been done or said;
Results aren't worth such troubles.
Out on life I've surely missed,
No Fortune's grace my path has kissed,
And adding insults to this list -
My bottom's full of bubbles!