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Confessions of a Poacher ©

Torryburn(1) A foul deed in Torryburn

William Denholm
Edinburgh, Scotland

Colin was seen treading around the beach in his bare feet
Looking for big flat Flounders for the family to eat.

With the help of a stick, barbed wire and a rusty nail
He wid whap them oan the hied and pit them in the pail.

The laddie and his Faither lived in Torryburn
Tae kill these puir fish they wid each tak their turn

A stick, barbed wire and a rusty nail wis used tae commit the crime
Video evidence would be used in Fife fur the first time
Tae ensure they wid baith dae they’re time

“Aye yer Honour, they wur caught oan camera at the beach in their bare feet,
They claimed they hud tae dae it
Or the Hotel guests wid huv hud nuthing tae eat"
“Aye the Laddie and his Faither tried hard tae git away,
Bit we apprehended them before they took sanctuary oan the Isle of May”

“Officer, you say the pair are guilty but how could you tell?”
“Och yer Honour,
It took three weeks tae git rid of the smell of the fish oot the cell”

“RIGHT, produce the evidence for all the Jury to see.”
“Och yer Honour, ye hud it last night fur yer tea.”

Case dismissed due to lack of evidence

After the court case the family had to move away
And the Fifers still talk about the slaughter of the Flounders today.

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