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A Love Chronicle in Three Acts ©

by Charles Mannosnov
2002

I've lost a beauty today
Me, a warrior of vast horizons
That dreams of endless fields abloom
Her, of quiet but indecipherable endeavors…

Her, most of what he had envisioned
Him, a restless mind with ties not granted
She'd said she'd love him through many a year
But that promise seemed not convincing

He doubted all that love was pure
She gave no reason to be distrusted
But there was this something always around
That suggested she might be doing him wrong

His paranoia or his intuition
In fair amount of both he had
The strive to prove which one it was
Raged on through termless thundering times

His intuition at last dictated
To speak his mind and so depart
But still some pain somehow remained
She had it all to be the one.

II

My fairest poems
Will come out now
From all the unrest
The wound of broken trust
Has seared in me

My fairest poems
Will come out now
From all the turmoil
Flowing deep in some visceral place,
Where a torn soul artery
Pours out its acid torrent.
My time´s slowed down to a drag
That takes away my sleep
And crams my mind with thoughts of, yes,
I knew it!

I've lost my breath
Love I indeed felt
And though I would not reveal it
I would often hear it said to me.
It´s not consistent
That an acknowledged love
For long expressed
Drains my soul today

I write these lines as I look deep
Within my heart
At the light of truths so hard fought for
And tightly grasped and held on to
I feel betrayed
Defeated, yet not bewildered
What a chance to feel
What a great experience to look into,
Remember and value.

When I'd come to prize
My logic, coherence and detachment
From the whims of love
The blow of unfaithfulness
Ravages my guts
And yells at me
You are alive
Your emotions up-raised become the proof.
Behold, secure them, enjoy them
For even tonight in its darkest pits
They demonstrate that life is there
Tearing at your very seams,
That life you are to redefine
That not everything´s a square
As it had turned out to be

And it is thus that I conclude
That my gratefulness you are to get
For you have given me
Something I had never felt
Something I had never known
And for that reason I'm more affluent
I'm more complete, I'm more alive
I'd never ever before known it.
Pain or awe
I did not know
My life was empty
I was asleep.

This ache will pass
And I will see
That when my time to go out of this world arrives
My suitcase of memories will not go empty
For those might be the only things
Someday I'll need
To start my trip
Beyond this life

III

My wings stretch wide
They catch the sunlight
The breeze gets strong
My feathers hum, ready to fly

I look behind
Though with no eyes
I sense behind
She says "don't fly"

I see her warm up
Her old sweet nest
With other birds
Looking sideways

I've no regrets
I would have done the same
No one to blame
Loving all is un-comprehended human nature

My claws get firm
Embrace the rock
On that high cliff
On which I'm poised
Ready to fly.

I fold my wings
Press on my claws against the rock
I bend my knees
And hoist my head
A storm's been stalking me

The gust gets stronger, pushing me up
I close my eyes
To meditate
For one last instant
Should I let go
Should I stay
Of what avail would it be to?

Somehow my strength
Begins to fade
My flesh relaxes
And tilt I start to

I feel I´m falling
I feel the embrace
Of gravity
Luring me to it

One last bit of rock
My claws have claimed
And now I know
I'm whizzing down

Nothing to think of
Nothing to worry of
I know I'm dying
Should I keep course?

Time stops
There is no count
The wind just sounds
Like one last scream

Open your eyes, open your wings
It is not time
You've got to fly
It's not your time

My eyes I open
I see the bottom
Come racing forth
Unwillingly soft and swift

My wings unfold
My feathers get swollen
With knife-like bursts of air ascending
My neck gets stiff
My beak I push up
I barely glide
Aloft the crash
More bits of rock
Scratch my knees

I soar quite high
A brand-new day presents salute
The sky breathes joy
My strength returns

My mind is full
With new events
It's busy now
To start anew

In the end,
We're all sprouts of the same tree
It's just that we fail to see
The roots running underneath.


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