A LEXICON OF CREATURES ©
These are verses of an A - Z of creatures
Frank E Gibbard
Not first up on ark,
But by dint of a b c
Is in every diction'ry.
Be wary on meeting a genuine bear
Better by far if you can to forbear -
Best not be gulled by its Teddy Bear looks,
The barefaced depiction of forests of books.
Cats are their very own best friends
Their comfort over all transcends.
The only reason they let us stay,
Unfed theyíd up and run away.
Dog is manís best friend so they say
In essence just a wolf gone tame
That saw in life an easier way
When into our homes it happily came.
Eagles have had the highest billing
As national symbols in Rome and the States
Appropriate efficient machine for killing
Predator assassin: one of the greats.
Fox is wily, fox is cunning
Always hunted, ever running.
The zoo enclosure held no gnu
The keeper knew not what to do,
Any animalís bad to lose
But no Gnus is even worser news.
Hound alphabetically goes after fox
Which parenthetically is how it gets off its rocks.
A zoo ibex though knowing
Itís just a goat
Is inwardly glowing
With cause to gloat
It snoots at the average common creature
Without an ďxĒ to boast as a notable feature
But vexing this ibex, and how
His life now stinks,
Next cage they're annexing now
An exasperating lynx.
An Aussie koala bear,
Being astutely self aware
Knows itís not a bear
And will tell any oiks who
Seem to think itís bloody funny
To proffer pots of honey:
ďStreuth! mate, Iím not bleeding Winnie The Pooh.Ē
Llama a bit like a camel
But flat backed with no lump
Known abroad not near so well
Is likely to get the hump
And morph into the queen of drama
If confused with the Dalai Lama.
Monkey shares our DNA
Darwin and others had their say,
Only human beings pray
Give me monkies' philosophy any day.
The Australian numbat despite the "bat"
Is not a flying beast
And among things suffixed thus
Is probably known the least .
But brighter than ding,
You wouldn't call it a kick-it failure
Though your num trails behind
After wom, fruit and cricket
In its native home Australia.
Oh the okapi
Has a name that rhymes with happy
And I hear a tongue, such a lucky break
That sinuously like a snake
Your okapi chappy insinuates and steers
Into the crevices of its ears.
Thereby, effectively clearing
The aural fluff that'll
Tend to muffle hearing.
Porcupines by Natureís deft designs
Protected against their enemy by deadly spines
Which lay a minefield for the sexual act
Unless approached with utmost tact
The simple business of reproduction
Pawplayed by careful introduction
Of one to the other, a precise seduction
Before attempted impregnation
While risking thus a painful prick
Porcupines pull off their prickly trick
Quail in bird terms is small potatoes
Its political namesake is too
And when it comes to spelling potato
Thatís something Dan Quayle could not do.
From the Laplands
Skunk and swine
Both terms of abuse
But the progenitors of these names
Are inheritors of philological misuse
If I may so humbly opine.
That this natural punk when threatened stunk
Can hardly be denied
But herbal skunk inhales well in flames
Or so I heard implied.
Reify swine as the class porcine
Deify their meat as it eats divine.
Ageing tiger turning white
Dozing through the long long night
Whatever power made you wither
May seem a sort of Indian giver
Blakeís divine description does not say
Each mighty tiger loses sway.
If you were a modern Noah
And a flood occurred
Would you put up an umbrella bird?
Vegetarians are as strange birds
As you are like to meet,
They seem to think that sausages
Should not contain any meat,
Though bangers were made for the likes of us
So we might feel replete.
Why can't they find their own bleeding names
For what they choose to eat?
The wolf is a slavouring and predacious beast
Seeking fresh flesh on which heíd just love to feast
But this wolfman lets down his much better bred males
And in pursuit of his desires often letches and fails.
By contrast real wolves rarely stray from their lairs
Inclined by fair Nature to bond in tight pairs.
You never find the xenopus toad
Around an X ray fish;
One inhabits a dry abode
The otherís somewhat wettish.
Itís no Shangri La for the yak
A beast of burden Tibetans pack
With prodigious loads on its straining back
Oh put upon yak, alas alack.
The enclosures and cages of a zoo
Are like the pages of an Animals Who's Who
From aardvark to zebra exotic fauna are filed
In our attempt to incarcerate the wild.